The trusting process

Well, 2021 is now here, and I think it is easy to say that no one knows all it has in store for us. 2020 has been a strange year, which I think is something we already know, but it has defiantly changed the way I view things and I've learned so much because of it!

Although it was a hard year, I have found that December has been personally one of the hardest months for me. This month was my birthday, and the moment I turned 18, was the moment all this stuff I had been concealing and hiding inside came out! I found out I had a ridiculous fear of the words "adult" "future" and "trust". On my birthday it hit me like a bag of rocks. I am going to have to make decisions about my future.

I am that type of person who's dreams and ideals change like the weather, I rarely tend to like something for a long amount of time. This makes future planning super hard for me, and my dreams inconstant. I found myself putting so much pressure on me, and putting many false expectations like a load on my back. At the end of the day I felt like a failure, and like I wasn't doing enough. This last month was a tough one for me, but I want to share with you what has been revealed to me through that time.

It is ok to feel a sense of responsibility for yourself, and for your future, at the end of the day I WILL have to make some decisions that will change my life, but they don't have to come from a place of fear and anxiety. I have learned that whenever I feel anxious about a choice I will have to make, I decide what part of that is mine to worry about NOW, and what part of it I can worry about once I reach that point.

I have learned that sometimes the enemy likes to make us seem like we're not doing enough and shame us for that. I am a very busy person right now, If anything I should have felt like I needed to drop some stuff. Yet, I believed I was not doing enough. (So if you feel like you are always busy, yet are never doing enough, you are probably believing a lie from the enemy...just sayin')

Trusting God can be one of the hardest things to do, but being content with where you are at is one of the most important decisions you can make. Peace is often a choice you make in your heart and spirit, where you decide that even when your anxious you've already pre-chosen something else.

I still don't have this whole "take it one day at a time" thing down, and I don't know if I ever will! But what I do know, is that my life is going to be a good one, and sometimes going along for the ride is all you can do. Yes, there may be days where I feel worried or stressed, but I am going to choose not to let those moments overshadow the good life I'm living now. Even if I'm not as pulled together as I thought I would be.

So, take your time, its OK not to have everything figured out right now, sometimes where you are supposed to be, isn't where you thought you would be...but that's just all a part of the journey. Just remember that God will not fail you, and sometimes His time schedule for your life is different than his schedule for other's.

So all throughout 2021 I am going to CHOOSE peace, and take my life one step at a time, knowing full well that God will not let me down. And I would encourage you to do the same. Let's choose to be excited about the future rather than worried, because the latter is no fun!

Thank you so much for reading, I would love to hear any comments/questions you may have, so feel free to contact me and make sure you subscribe to my blog for more content.